I’ll admit it I bought the Dance of Shiva DVD months ago.  I tried it a few times, but my shoulder started acting up (for some odd reason, I sleep with my right arm thrown up above my head as high as I can – go figure) so I didn’t push it.  I’d pick it back up from time to time, but even though I was enjoying it, I just didn’t feel like it was doing much for me.  So I went about with my business.

But in the back of my mind, it was always there taunting me.

Havi promised that there’d be hot buttered epiphanies and dammit, I wanted my epiphanies!  I figured the new year was the perfect time to start up again.  This time, I’d commit to 3 or more days a week.

Instead of constantly playing the DVD from my computer, I figured I’d look into burning the Level I practice onto my computer instead.  Easy peasy, right?

Not.

But before we even get started talking about today’s Shiva Nata experience, let’s take a brief moment to learn more about it what it actually is (according to Havi Brooks)…

Andrey Lappa’s Dance of Shiva™ — is a unique (and visually stunning), flowing yoga-based movement form that actually restructures neural connections in your brain.

Cool, but why would someone want to do that? Because creating more connections in the brain means you are inviting more light bulb moments into your life. “Light bulb moments”, “hot buttered insights” or “moments of bing” — it doesn’t matter what you call them. You know them when they show up.

And really, who wouldn’t want more “moments of bing,” right?

Here’s a quick Havi video (no sound, quite beautiful) so you can get a visual of what it’s all about.

Okay, so back to my return to Shiva Nata…

The short version: I couldn’t get the right application to pop open, so no downloading for me today.  No biggie. I’ll just set a bookmark instead.

The longer version: I’ve been doing it wrong this entire time!

I know Havi tells us over and over that we will be doing it wrong and that that’s just fine.  She tells us that it’s not about getting it right.  It’s the very wrongness, the clumsiness if you will, that keeps those synapses snapping and the “hot buttered epiphanies” coming.

But, um…I don’t even know what I’ve been doing here.

The “practice” I’ve been well, practicing just had some very basic horizontal and vertical movements.  Simple, single, flowing  movements.  And well, I was actually quite impressed by how much better I was getting at them each time.  It was like my brain recognized the movements and just kind of went with the flow.  Flubs and all.

I felt like even in my wrongness, I was doing it right.

Today though, since I was looking to see if there was a way to make a copy, I found the Main Theory and Practice Menu.  Giving up on the copying thing, I figured okay, one practice with Level I it is.

Only, I’d never seen this Level I before.

And what in the world were these combination things he was doing?!?!?!

So much for my perceived level of comfort.  Now I get what Havi was talking about when she suggested you learn memorize have burned into your brain the names of each arm position before ever really jumping into the practice.  Because once you get to the actual Level I practice you’ll be combining shit left and right, vertical and horizontal.  And holy crap, but slow was even to fast for me.

Now I’m at a loss.  Do I try to flub my way through the actual Level I practice?  I mean if you can’t do it wrong, then it must be okay to flub it all up, right? Or do I go back to whatever it was I was doing when I thought I was doing Level I and just get more comfortable with my movements? And maybe learn the positions and their names a bit better?

And what in the world was I doing if it wasn’t Level I?  I mean it was called some sort of practice…a beautiful, doable, sloooow practice.  Without mixed movements.

Now that I write this out, I’m thinking that going back to that practice just might be the better plan.

The good news through all of this…there wasn’t a big freakout involved.  No massive frustration or outrage. No disappointment.  Just your dog-like, tilt of the head, huh? moment.  Well that and the urge to come here and blog about it, of course.

That said…I’m so loving this new energy that’s all around lately.  It’s some good stuff.