I’m not really a shy person, per se.  I’ll go basically anywhere alone – shopping, dining out, the movies, special events, meetings, a party, you name it.  But sometimes, I just don’t have it in me to just put myself out there in a whole new situation where I don’t know a soul.  I mean, why feel awkward out in public when you can just stay at home snuggled up with a good book (though my current choice is more mediocre than good) or some really cheesy TV (when will this strike end?).

Today is one of those days.  As I mentioned yesterday, I recently started the Incubator program with Ladies Who Launch.  We’ve had one meeting thus far.  This evening there’s a large LWL group meeting (with some media specialist gal) out in Santa Monica.  Part of me really wants to go as I’m so psyched about meeting new people, especially new motivated, entrepreneurial women.  For all I know, I might meet my next business contact, or someone that would love to advertise on my site, or become an “expert” or who knows what.

Thing is, I’m just not feeling it today.  Mostly, I’m just not up for a rush-hour drive on the 405 to get my ass into Santa Monica on time.  To be honest, I don’t think that I’ve ever made the commute to Santa Monica solo before. *yikes*  But also, I’m just not really up for hanging out with mass amounts of women (and doing the whole nine yards – hair, make-up, clothes) all while knowing no one.  I just don’t feel like being sociable tonight.  I did reach out to two of my other LWL incubatorees out here on the other side of the hill, but I don’t think they plan on going tonight either (one has other plans, the other hasn’t yet responded).

So while I’d never consider myself a shy person, I do have moments of shyness that can sometimes seem to leave me a bit frozen and stagnant, if not actually a bit fearful of meeting new people.  As they like to tell us, you only get one shot to make a first impression, and call me silly, but I just don’t see me making a great first impression tonight.  I just don’t seem to feel it.

So this being the first week with the Ladies Who Launch Incubator program, we of course, have some homework.  Aside from writing a Best Biz Ever sort of vision for our fellow incubator-ees, we have some personal things to focus on…

First: We need to work on cleaning up the junk.  By organizing, cleaning and clearing up the things that junk up our lives, we’re able to create a space for new things to come into our lives.   I’ve been gung-ho on this.  I cleaned the kitchen yesterday (my stove top was a Mess!).  I also finally got around to throwing out the box chuck-full of Christmas wrapping paper – in my defense, we only have small trash bins and my landlord hates to bring out anything that isn’t full so I had to wait my turn (or in this case MAKE my turn).  I also cleared off my monster of a desktop.  Amazingly, I can see things on my desk now and I have plenty of room to move around without any fear of knocking piles over.

Today I plan on focusing on cleaning out the rest of this office.  We have stacks of magazines that need to be filed and believe it or not, cases of wine that need to be relocated and stored.   With luck, I can also get to some bedroom organizing as well.  I’m one of those that hates to put away folded laundry.  Instead, I stack.  And stack.  And stack some more until well, I’m seasons (and sizes) behind in my available wardrobe and there’s no room for anything.

Second:  We need to do something good for ourselves daily.  While I’d love for that to mean daily massages, facials, manis & pedis, well, it just can’t be.  Instead, I’ve been spending time reading and finding time to watch my favorite (often cheesy) TV shows. I’ve also decided to get back into blogging (I was really missing it).  Yesterday, while getting this blog up and running, I just out and out decided to treat myself to a Venti Caramel Macchiato – sometimes it just tastes so good to have something a little sweet. I’ve also decided to focus more on cooking good meals in instead of eating crap meals out.  It’s all a start right?

Third: We need to acknowledge the forward movement and accept what comes into our lives.  By following through with steps 1 and 2, new things can’t help but come on in. I mean, we’ve gone through all that energy to create a space for it, right?  The biggest (and right now, most important) thing that I’ve noticed these past two days is that we once again have ad revenue coming in.  It seemed like things were blocked there for a bit, but once again, we’re flowing.

I’ve also noticed that I just feel better.   I’m no longer anxious (it was a challenging past couple of weeks) and amazingly, I’m no longer craving junk.  I’m actually wanting to eat well and grab fruit instead of tearing up the apartment looking for chocolate.  Interestingly, I also have some blogging friends that I had lost touch with shooting me emails asking how things are going and wondering where I had disappeared to.  What a great feeling.

I’m really excited to see what else will be coming my way.