I’m not even exactly sure where to begin with this.  I’ve still been participating in the Tranquilista Lifestyle e-course and I’m still getting tons out of it.  I’m just not quite participating as fully as I’d hoped I would.  It seems that for me, it’s bringing up a lot of stuff that I need to deal with (which I asked for help with way back a couple months ago with one of my VPAs that I wrote).  So I’m not exactly being nearly as creative as I’d hoped.

I’ll be honest, I’m not doing daily journaling (written or artistic) and I haven’t yet gotten around to creating a daily ritual.  Though i will say that I can finally (after a thorough conversation with a good friend), see the benefits in having a ritual and the need to turn inward from time to time.  Like I said, I’m getting tons out of it, it just seems to be manifesting a little differently for me.

This week though, is all about entrepreneurialism (if you could only see my fingers trip over that one!).  Our main focus this week is on creating a brand, or well, I guess even some thoughts around the brand.  Basically, to play with your business a little.

So following some of Kimberly’s advice, I decided to look within and make a list of all the “jobs” I do from day to day.  In many cases, that means ALL the jobs – mother, wife, and business woman – and break them down into tasks.  Well, I haven’t gotten really specific yet, but all I can say is WOW!  I often wondered just where my day went and why I often felt like I didn’t get much done and now I know.

For starters…

HOME: wife, friend, cleaning lady, maintenance crew, cook, laundress, liaison, dishwasher, menu planner, dog walker, pet groomer, secretary, event planner, personal shopper, real estate agent and all around Girl Friday.

WORK: treasurer, book keeper, web administrator, graphic designer (man am I horrible at this job), writer, mail room gal, receptionist, marketing department, personal shopper/Girl Friday, inventory management, event planner, team trainer, cleaning staff, PR consultant and so much more that didn’t leap right out at me.

Which brings me back, full circle to the need for creating a schedule and insisting on a morning “me” ritual of sorts.  Times like this (and like so many others), I’m in awe of moms and how they’re able to balance so much of their life.

So yeah, I might not have necessarily embraced my inner artiste head on, I am so thrilled with all I’m learning with this course.  Can’t wait to see what’s in store for next week as we dig deeper into our entrepreneurial lives.

Photo credit: Terry Buchanan

WORK: For the first week this has been an odd one for me.  As I mentioned previously, my husband was home sick all of last week.  So I got a slow start.  Also, I didn’t do as much work as I might otherwise do on a regular week.  Then the latter half of our first week, I was spent prepping for my first week back on campus – tweaking the syllabus, coordinating the emails for the class (they’re an intellectually & developmentally disabled bunch of young adults), figuring out how to work around the class with my errands, etc.  So I didn’t have all too much time to get anything firm going.  I like the idea of limiting my email access, so I think next week I’m going to focus on culling that down to only a couple times a day – not easy when you live online.

Which of course means, there wasn’t so much mindfulness going on while I was working.  As I mentioned in a blog post, what I have been totally aware of are the many sights and sounds that have been going on.  While I wouldn’t want them to come much closer, I love hearing the coyotes howling while I’m drifting off to sleep during the full moons.  And nothing beats the scent of orange blossoms on the air every time I step outside.  Amazing.  I did remember to take time and practice my breath work.  In fact, I’ve come to realize that it’s a lovely way to fall asleep.

PLAY: I did manage to meditate a couple times during the week.  I also journaled once I got around to picking up the book.  Funny enough, in four days, I think I’ve been to Michael’s three times and the stationary store once!  Who knew you could spend $20 on a rainbow of Le Pens (my fave colored pens since my teenage years).  Today I picked up some stamps and had a little fun with that after my post-teaching nap (hope to have photos on my blog shortly).

The journaling process is a little tougher than I thought it would be.  Even though I’ve been blogging now for more than five years, I’m kinda used to writing for someone to read.  Not writing for my own sake.  So this is the first time in a long time (probably middle school) that I’m writing for me.  Writing to process what’s in my head and to get it out and acknowledge it.  So I think it might take a bit longer for me to get going with that.

I’d have to say, my biggest challenge thus far has been the yoga aspect.  I took a yoga course at the community center about 10 years ago, but I never really got into it.  I’ve also taken the occasional class to try to get back into it – you know everyone says it’s supposed to be SO good for you.  But I couldn’t seem to get into my own practice (even though I have my own mat, my own CDs and quite a few audios).  I have found two gentle classes that  I’m going to try out later in the week.  Maybe if I can just learn some of the basic moves (again), I can start a late afternoon practice.

Something I did get out of this whole first week is a kind of self-awareness.  I’ve noticed this past week that I easily recognize when I’m frustrated or angry (LA traffic can do that to the sanest of gals) as well as when I’m tired.  But the other thing I noticed after rereading the Tranquilista chapter, is that I seem to have the tendencies to get caught up in the *why* of not being able to do something.  Like the morning ritual. I was really fighting myself thinking I had to do EVERYTHING – meditate, drink my tea, journal, affirmations, breathe work, yoga, you name it.  What I realized, is that I just need to find the time and the space to sit with myself for a moment or two and set some intentions. And well, that I can do.

Can’t wait to see what’s in store for next week.

Okay, we’re trying this writing thing full on.  I’m using the OmmWriter (for Mac only, I believe) so it will provide the background noise and block out all my other applications.  This way I can just write and not get pulled away by other things.  I might need to change up the background soundtrack though – not sure all these church bells are working for me.  Okay, I switched it to just birds – much better.

I’ve told the boys (the hubs and the furry ones) that “mama needs some quite for a few, so I’m shutting the door.”  And as one would expect, they don’t care.  But I shut the door none the less.  I’ve also got my cup of tea by my side.  I even dug out my super pretty mug.  I love the mug (I’ll include a photo when I repost this in the blog – see below), but since it’s more about pretty than practical, it’s not thick enough and my tea typically cools way down before I finish.  But I figured I needed to work on being present so I went for the pretty.

So I’m mid way through the first week of the Tranquilista e-course.  And while there’s no right and wrong here, I feel a bit like I haven’t been pulling my weight.   We’re supposed to (yes, I actually said that), first and foremost, create a morning routine.  (Funny aside here, as I was typing this, I called it a “weekly” routine, bet there’s some meaning in that little slip up).  This morning routine is to include all if not most of the following: meditation, yoga, journaling and well, something to set up the ritual.  I’m thinking it’s all about centering and focusing on the self.

Thing is, I haven’t really done anything yet.  I did write (and doodle) in my journal for a bit yesterday (and I’ll work on decorating the cover today). Oh and I’ve downloaded the Tranquility to Go exercises (yoga, I think) on my iPhone.  But that’s it. Nothing special first thing in the morning.

Then again, this has been an oddly different week for me.  The hubs was home sick all week (seems he caught what I had the previous week when he was in Austin).  So basically, I never really felt like I had any alone time.  Granted, that was all just a matter of perception.  I mean, at any given time I can/could do whatever I wanted.  I spent quite a bit of my time away from him either working, reading, running errands (many for him) or spending time with friends.  But the thought of going into another room to meditate or do some yoga while he’s around kind of weirds me out for some odd reason.

I know he doesn’t care.  Hell, I’m sure he’d support it.  Anything to make me happy or help me succeed and he’s all for it.  But I just feel like he’s right there.  So I do nothing.  Or more to the point, I do something else.  Something other than I should or could be doing.

I’ve considered sitting in the park and maybe meditating there.  But then it’s kinda the same thing…other people will be there.  They’ll know what I’m doing and think I’m weird or something.  Funny, the more I sit here and write about this, the more I’m reminded of an intuitive session I did a couple weeks ago where we realized that I often seem to let the image or thoughts of  “they” and “them” kinda rule what I do.  I guess this is all a perfect example.

Which of course, means, in my own non-yoga-y way, I am in the moment and being more aware of what’s going on around me.  Right up there with noticing more smells and scents in the air when I go outside (which is super funny to me considering I seem to still be dealing with a sinus infection, but yet I can still notice the orange blossoms – which are so amazing smelling!).  I also noticed the bread company baking their wheat bread last night.  We were all snuggled up on the couch watching a little TV and all of a sudden I got the slightest whiff of the bread.  If there wasn’t a bread making factory (think Wonderbread type of thing) a couple miles away, you’d swear it was the mind playing tricks on you.

And total aside here: I get such a kick out of being able to tell when they’re making white and wheat bread.  You can totally smell the difference.  Funnier still, you can totally tell that it’s not rustic or authentic bread baking, it obviously smells like something you’d buy in a plastic bag at the grocery store.  It doesn’t smell nearly as good as, say, real bread baking.

So let’s see…to summarize, at this mid-point of the first week, I think I’ve learned or have become aware of a couple of things:

1) I do have a bit of a morning ritual already going – get up, use the bathroom, let the dog out, feed both the cat & the dog, take my homeopathic meds (need to be water & food  free for 30 mins before and after) and then either sit down at the computer or hop back into bed with all the boys.  Granted, it’s not very ME focused, sassy or spiritual, but it is a morning routine.  To make it a bit more about me, I’ve been going above and beyond making sure I have a cup of tea each morning.

2) I have become more mindful of what’s going on around me.  I’ve noticed when I was frustrated while driving – actually said something like this to myself, “wow, look at that, I’m totally noticing that I’m frustrated here.”   I’ve noticed more scents going on around me.  I’ve also noticed that I feel a tad overwhelmed about the *need* to write daily and meditate and do all the things I’m not yet doing.  I’m telling myself that it doesn’t matter and baby steps are just fine.  But there’s a part of me that also wonders if it’s more of myself standing in my own way.

So for a mid-point here, I’m kinda impressed.  Not so bad.  Change is good, right?  Even if we’re talking itty bitty, babysteps of change.

Do you have a morning ritual routine?  If so, care to share?  And if you’re a fellow Tranquilista Lifestyler, how are things going for you as we reach this mid-point of week one?